


The chaos at Mckinley

by Theweirdslingshot



Series: Glee, but it's another chatfic [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, because we'll probably encounter some more of them and then I have to add, especially cuz I want som faberry, is this a prequel to the last fic? idk, maybe it's gonna be it's own thing, more ships and characters will be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:08:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 7,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28516914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theweirdslingshot/pseuds/Theweirdslingshot
Summary: It's a groupchat set in some kind of timeless void when the gang were at Mckinley!(You do not have to read the last one to understand this one. This one's kind of it's own thing)
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Mike Chang/Tina Cohen-Chang, Quinn Fabray/Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Series: Glee, but it's another chatfic [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088378
Comments: 39
Kudos: 95





	1. S M A R

_Artie created a new groupchat._

_Artie added Tina, Brittany, Mercedes, Sam, Mike, Santana, Quinn, Rachel, Finn, Puck and Mercedes to the chat._

_Artie named the chat " **The New Directions** "._

Quinn: Please say the "the" will stay this time.

Artie: What do you mean?

Quinn: Nothing.

Puck: EYY! NEW GC

Santana: How fun, a new place to post misleading gifs and videos.

Santana: wheresmysoup.mpg

Finn: Where... is her soup?

Santana: idk?

Brittany: Santana is at my house rn and she giggles over the weird video she sent

Brittany: She's very funny.

Rachel: Yeah... she is. Sometimes.

Santana: Did I... could it be?? A compliment from Berry?

Mike: How rad!

Rachel: ...

Tina: I just found out Mr. Schue wants us to do country next week.

Kurt: Noooo??

Sam: YES! Sounds awesome!

Mike: Idk about country but it could be good?

Sam: IT IS

Artie: Why can we never have a week about white rappers

Tina: Arts, ever since we won that quiz regionals you've been obsessed with white rappers

Artie: But I knew so much about it!

Finn: I always forget you were in that quiz show

Puck: On TV!

Puck: And somehow Brittany was there and helped you win

Brittany: I'm not like those cliche dumb blondes who when in quiz camp beeps the button and answers everything wrong and when she actually knows the answer she won't press the button, causing the team to lose.

Santana: Yeah Britt is smar

Mike: Smar

Quinn: SMAR

Kurt: S M A R 

Brittany: Santana fell down the stairs.

Mercedes: Wait, what?

Quinn: ????

Brittany: She was going to the bathroom and then she didn't see where she went because she was on her phone and now she fell down the stairs

Santana: I'm fine

Brittany: Omg your knee is bruised!

Brittany: I'm gonna get some of my sister's band aids

Brittany: You want skeletons or butterflies?

Santana: Butterflies, please

Finn: AWWW

Kurt: BUTTERFLIES

Brittany: santanasknee.jpg

Sam: Tag yourself i'm Brittany doing a thumbs up

Mike: I'm Santana not realising Britt took a picture and is just happy with her pink butterfly band aid

Quinn: I'm the butterfly

Santana: HEY! >:(

Brittany: Why are you mad, Sanny? They care about you.

Rachel: Why are you guys talking here when you're next to each other?

Santana: Well, I... guess you're right, Britt. Thanks to everyone who cares <3

Mercedes: Naww

Tina: I love you guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this is a prequel to my previous chatfic or just it's entire own thing we have yet to see. The one thing I do know is that it's set in a timeless void. Sometimes newer characters may randomly show up and disappear again. Time goes a little back and forth, but it's still timeless.   
> Hope you'll like this. Especially if you liked my previous chatfic.


	2. Klaine UWU

_Kurt >> Blaine_

Kurt: I found my old barbie that a girl gave to me in kindergarten!

Kurt: I would hide it under my pillow... I think my parents knew.

Blaine: Still, that's very cute!

Kurt: _You're_ cute!

Blaine: I am? :D

Kurt: You're the cutest little boyfriend in the world!

Blaine: You're cuter than my cuteness!

Kurt: <3

Blaine: <3

_Santana has joined the chat._

Kurt: ?

Santana: You guys are so corny I bent time and space just to tell you that.

_Santana has left the chat._

Blaine: I hope her breaking into random chats will be a habit.

Blaine: Also... doesn't she talk the same "corny" way to Brittany?

Kurt: OMG!! SHE DOES!

Blaine: What if they are secretly dating or smth

Kurt: That would be hilarious!

Kurt: But I don't think so. I have awesome gaydar.

Blaine: Me too.

Blaine: Though my gaydar has mostly been correct about boys...

Kurt: Eh

Blaine: Eh


	3. In the middle of the night i'm in bed alone

_**The New Directions** _

Quinn: HOORAY THE "THE" STAYS

Quinn: Is anyone else awake at 2 AM?

Santana: Yeah. Whatcha doing, Q?

Quinn: Just lying in my bed, thinking about stuff

Santana: Same

Puck: What stuff?

Quinn: Stuff

Santana: Stuff

Sam: Stuff

Puck: Why is Sam here

Sam: I live here

Sam: Wait

Sam: No

Sam: Sorry I usually answer that whenever someone asks why I am somewhere

Mercedes: Guyyys you woke me up

Puck: There's 3 reasons someone is awake at night.

Puck: 1. They have unresolved trauma they think about

Puck: 2. They came up with the best idea ever

Puck: 3. They're masturbating.

Sam: 4. They are reading fanfiction

Quinn: 5. THEY JUST. CAN. NOT. SLEEP. BECAUSE. NO. REASON. AT. ALL. JUST. ONE. OF . THOSE. NIGHTS.

Mercedes: 6. They got woken up >:c

Santana: 7. All of the above.

Sam: ...

Puck: Interesting, tell me more

Puck: It's an honor to know someone's jerking off to me

Puck: But wait girls can't jerk off they don't have anything

Quinn: I-

Mercedes: Eh

Santana: RHJRKFJILIOPOBIEJFHSR

Sam: Dude! Not cool! You don't know about female anatomy at all! Bad Puck!

Mercedes: Sam no

Quinn: Sam... 

Santana: For your info, it was a fucking joke.

Santana: Now excuse me while i'm gonna think about how I got woken up and for no reason can't fall asleep again so i'm thinking about the time I called my teacher mami, while spontaneously reading an erotic fanfiction about gays in space and imagining how I could write a better one

Sam: Fanfic us, Santana

Santana: Will do

Mercedes: Why is this chat so cursed sometimes

Santana: Also now I do feel like wankying off myself actually

Mercedes: And there it is

Santana: Just kidding

Mercedes: Goodnight

Santana: But really no

* * *

Kurt: I WAKE UP TO YOUR NIGHT TEXTS AND THIS IS WHAT I WITNESS? WARN ME.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taken inspiration from some of my own group chats. There's always the dirty minded ones and the others more innocent and pure ones. And most often, the dirtyest mind messes with the most innocent mind every damn time.  
> But I toned it down for this chapter bc otherwise I would've had to switch up to mature lol


	4. Dance machine

_Mike >> Tina_

Mike: Hey... watcha doing? :)

Tina: Watching Buffy the vampire slayer, you?

Mike: Chatting with you ;)

Tina: Of course hehehehe ;)

Mike: I'm also dancing

Tina: While texting?

Tina: Multitasking ;)

Mike: Yeah

Tina: You are very good at multitasking

Mike: You know it ;)))

Mike: I'm your dance machine

Tina: Certainly c;


	5. Britt-Britt is cute-cute

_Sam >> Santana_

Sam: Hey...

Santana: Uh, hi?

Sam: So you know Brittany

Santana: I do know Brittany

Sam: Can you... tell her something for me?

Sam: I sorta think she's cute and I just wanna know what she thinks about me.

Santana: Ugh

Santana: Not gonna do that :/

Sam: Why?

Santana: You're nothing compared to what she is.

Sam: But I think Britt-Britt is cute-cute :c Shouldn't I tell her?

Santana: No. She would definitely not be impressed if you say that.

* * *

_Santana >> Brittany_

Santana: Hey Britt-Britt

Santana: You're cute-cute :3

Brittany: uWu thanku Sanny


	6. Quinn is a strange girl

_Puck >> Finn_

Puck: Quinn is so strange sometimes

Finn: Yeah

Puck: I never feel like she's really into me, you know?

Finn: Yeah

Puck: I'm afraid she will just leave me

Finn: She's a complicated case

Finn: What if she's like... secretly not into boys

Puck: I don't think so

Puck: I think she's just picky with boys

Finn: Very picky...


	7. tHEY RUN

**_The New Directions_ **

Artie: Uhm, someone just ran by the science classroom?

Finn: I have math, someone dashed down the corridor outside

Rachel: It's Mercedes and Santana!!

Puck: OOOOOOOOHHOHOHOHO

Rachel: Not that I know anything but I did see Santana smuggle the last tater tots out of the cafeteria and I may have slipped it to Mercedes

Puck: I WILL SKIP CLASS TO SEE THE DRAMA

Quinn: SAME

Brittany: EMAS

Quinn: Britt what have we said about writing backwards

Brittany: Sorry I wrote while I was looking through the mirror

Tina: Please report back to us later I need drama

Tina: Gtg before my teacher takes my phone

Rachel: They are currently in the east corridor!

Rachel: OH MY GOD

Brittany: I almost got Mercedes on me

Quinn: Context, Santana pushed her

Kurt: What the fuck

Mike: I'm here! Gonna send a video

Quinn: Do they not see that all of us are like inches away from them

Puck: I CAN'T FIND EAST CORRIDOR

Brittany: Follow the squeaks

Sam: Guys >:C I almost got kicked out of class because my phone was buzzing

Brittany: The key is to turn off the sound

Santana: Exactly, do what Britt says<33

Mike: HKEJLSYEJR5KIJRL SANTANA LITERALLY STOPPED FIGHTING JUST SO SHE COULD TEXT THAT AND NOW SHE'S BACK

Finn: Are they hitting each other?

Rachel: Santana holds a box of tater tots in the air and tries to push Mercedes away from getting them

Artie: Mike we want that recording please

Quinn: RHNYJHUIUDJFSUIR

Brittany: Keyboard smash keyboard smash keyboard smash keyboard smash

Finn: What happened now?

Kurt: I'm screening this to Blaine guys I can't

Mike: thefullargument.mpg

Mercedes: COWARDS YOU ALL RAN AWAY TO LOOK AT THE VIDEO INSTEAD OF LOOKING AT THE VIDEO RIGHT IN FRONT OF US

Santana: Except Brittany i'm watching with her

Mercedes: Except Brittany you're watching with her

Puck: Except Brittany you're watching with her

Quinn: Except Brittany you're watching with her

Puck: Ha jinx

Kurt: Tag urself i'm Mercedes dramatically screaming "I need those tots Lopez!!"

Quinn: I'm Santana holding the tater tots like she's the statue of liberty

Artie: I'M SANTANA GETTING PUSHED INTO BRITTANY'S ARMS AND SAYING "oh hey Britt-Britt<3"

Sam: I'm Mercedes just taking the box of tots while Santana is hypnotised by Brittany's eyes

Sam: Also was it not you San, who told me to not call Brittany "Britt-Britt" because that would not impress her

Kurt: Oop-

Mike: Plot twist, Santana is trying to impress Britt and does not let anyone come near

Kurt: jfekfujtuesg

Mercedes: Guys

Mercedes: Santana ran off?

Brittany: Sam I don't get impressed if you call me Britt-Britt

Brittany: That's something only Sanny can call me

Quinn: Did she run off because she got offended or smth? We were only joking

Santana: SHUT YOUR MOUTH FABRAY OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR OBVIOUS CRUSH ON R

Quinn: What?

Puck: Who's R?

Santana: Brittany can you come

Brittany: Yes

Rachel: Who's R though???


	8. Unholy discussion

**_The Unholy trinity_ **

Quinn: Hello? Where are you two? 

Brittany: Busy

Quinn: What happened?

Santana: We don't really want to talk right now. 

Quinn: But you just ran off!

Santana: I don't wanna talk

Brittany: Santana's going through something, it's private.

Quinn: Ok. Let me just get one answer

Quinn: Who is R? And why would you tell people I have a crush?

Santana: Oh sweet Quinnie

Santana: I think you know

Quinn: ?

Brittany: Yeah your whole life is based around R's

Quinn: ??

Santana: I'll just say. Good voice and has eye contact with you constantly when singing.

Quinn: Wh

Quinn: R

Quinn: Rachel?

Brittany: BINGO

Quinn: nhjjkuhjsmkdjurjexi what

Santana: Sweet child

Quinn: Why do you think I have a crush on her??

Quinn: And why are you so offended over us joking about you two and threaten to tell people I have a crush on Rachel

Quinn: Guys?

Quinn: _Are_ you a thing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey if you're reading this leave a comment because I am not sure if anyone reads and I wanna know what you think and if you have any wish for something to happen.


	9. Owo

_**The New Directions** _

Mercedes: So I just passed West Lima Middle school

Mercedes: And I saw these... eight graders?

Mercedes: One of them looked so sweet, she was a brunette wearing a sweater I think was second hand.

Tina: Classy! We love second hand

Mercedes: Yeah and then this blonde girl was like "looks like we're going to the same high school, loser"

Mercedes: And some other kid asked where they were going and the blonde one raised her arms in the air and screamed "Mckinley, bitches!"

Kurt: Oh my

Mercedes: AND THEN TWO LIKE, SIXTH GRADERS, RAN UP AND TOLD HER TO NOT SWEAR

Rachel: Innocence of 12 year olds

Santana: Rachel what are you talking about you can't even say the word "fart" without feeling ashamed

Puck: I learned the word "fuck" when I was in preschool

Santana: Lame I learned it when I was two. It was one of five words I could say as a toddler.

Santana: Mami, Papi, Lela (that was toddler speak for "abuela"), hell and fuck

Mercedes: Anyways I think the blonde and the brunette are gonna be a handful when they get here next year

Sam: Let's adopt them!

Mercedes: Both of them?

Sam: Yeah!

Sam: Two freshmen, unsure of the world... we in the glee club adopt them both

Santana: OOOh yeah and they seem to not get along so imagine the drama

Rachel: We don't want drama in our club!

Santana: Shut up Rachel

Quinn: Stop being mean to Rachel

Santana: ...

Santana: Okay, Quinn ;-) I won't be mean to her

Quinn: Stop

Rachel: What?

Quinn: Nothing.


	10. Rachel's snitching

_Rachel >> Quinn_

Rachel: So I don't know if I should tell you this but

Rachel: I think something is going on with Brittany and Santana

Quinn: Yeah duh

Rachel: Wait, you knew?

Quinn: It's very obvious something is going on between them

Quinn: Like I don't know exactly what but I have my ideas

Rachel: What's your ideas?

Quinn: Same as you, probably

Rachel: That they are making out?

Quinn: Oh yeah I think they're doing more than that

Rachel: Oh... how do you feel about it?

Quinn: Honestly, it's their business, not mine. If they want to keep it a secret, it will be a secret.

Rachel: But it's so exciting though!! Gossip deluxe!

Quinn: Yeah don't tell anyone tho

Quinn: If you were in love with... yeah take me for example

Quinn: If you were fooling around with me, would you tell people?

Rachel: I suppose if you said I could, otherwise I would...

Rachel: No, no I would keep it a secret

Quinn: Yeah

Rachel: Yeah...


	11. The kind of dirty texts you can allow in a T rating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? I'm on fire!

_Finn >> Rachel_

Finn: I love your smile

Rachel: Your eyes light up so much when you see me and I feel so flattered

Finn: When I think of you I immediately fly to the stars.

Rachel: Stars high up...

Rachel: We will rule the galaxy with our infinite love

Finn: Why does that sound so hot

Rachel: I don't know...

Finn: Like literally thinking about stars makes me just

Rachel: What?

Rachel: What happened?

Finn: I'm...

Finn: I'm very fine :)

Finn: Just got a little... reaction :)

Rachel: Oh

* * *

_Kurt >> Blaine_

Kurt: You know what always makes me think of you?

Kurt: Birds

Blaine: OH MY GOD THAT'S SOHOTKURTIMLITERALLYGONNAC

Kurt: Every. Time.

* * *

_Brittany >> Santana_

Brittany: I made a drawing of us

Brittany: us.jpg

Santana: OMG that's so cute

Santana: The shading is perfect

Brittany: I paid extra attention to your hair

Santana: It's so good!

Santana: Have I told you that I love you

Brittany: Tell me again

Santana: I love you!!!

Brittany: To infinity and beyond?

Santana: BEYOND AND EVEN BEYOND

Brittany: I love you too!!

Santana: We really have a special bond

Brittany: Yeah no one can interrupt it

Brittany: We can even speak telepathically

Brittany: Did you get my telepathical message

Santana: Of course

Santana: I'd like that ;)

* * *

_Puck >> Quinn_

Puck: Hey

Quinn: No

Puck: Ok


	12. Brittany is lost in the sewers

**_The New Directions_ **

Kurt: Can we add Blaine? We haven't added him.

Artie: Of course!

_Kurt has addad Birdington Anderson_

_Artie has changed Birdington Anderson's name to Blaine_

Blaine: No fun in here, me wants the nickname

Artie: Honestly it's because the author has written chatfics before and the readers got too confused over the nicknames that she felt it was best to just have our names

Artie: Also she's lazy

Blaine: Ok valid

Finn: Welcome!

Quinn: Welcome Welcome Welcome to the house of freaks

Brittany: Phase 1 is on the go!

Blaine: Wait what's happening

Tina: Britt we were joking

Tina: Britt

Sam: What is happening?

Mercedes: Uuuuhhhhhh

Mercedes: Me, Tina and Kurt were joking around about going into the sewers and free the ghosts

Tina: yeah because the sewer pipes sound weird sometimes as if a ghost was there

Kurt: Is Brittany actually gonna do it

Brittany: Gonna go down a floor now

Santana: WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS DONE

Santana: DON'T YOU KNOW BRITTANY GETS EASILY LOST IN THE SEWERS

Quinn: You're saying this as if she has been there multiple times

Kurt: I-

Quinn: Santana

Quinn: Has Brittany been in the sewers multiple times

Brittany: Found my old shoe! I knew it lost it here. 

Blaine: AHAHAHHAHA THIS IS WHY I WANTED TO BE HERE

Brittany: Did we need flashlights because I forgot

Mercedes: BRITT RETREAT

Brittany: Well I can't do that

Mercedes: Why?

Brittany: I just met a ghost girl, she has lost her arms. Poor thing. BRB gonna help her

Kurt: HRKDSHJDEUI

Santana: Gonna go into the sewers and find her 

Santana: Fuck you all

Tina: Why what have we done

Santana: I was gonna spend the day taking boiling hot baths and watching soap operas and instead I have to go save my girlfriend from getting lost in the sewers again

Sam: You don't have to save her, she's not your responsibility. If she's lost in the sewers she can find her own way out.

Tina: Wait girlfriend?

Kurt: Girlfriend?

Blaine: G I R L F R I E N D

Rachel: I KNEW IT

Santana: ...

Santana: fuck

_Santana has left the chat._

Blaine: I'm

Sam: Like I knew about them?? Thought they were just not saying anything for joke's 

Quinn: Oh my

Brittany: Fixed it! The ghost girl thanked me for finding her arms and now she's ready to move on

Kurt: Great, Britt. Uh, just a question?

Kurt: Is Santana your girlfriend?

Brittany: I'm not going to tell you that.

Kurt: ...so yes?

Quinn: Britt scroll up

Brittany: Oh

Brittany: Oh no

Brittany: I gotta go find her.

_Brittany has left the chat._

Blaine: You know she didn't have to leave the chat to go find her but ok

* * *

_Santana >> Brittany_

Santana: Brittany are you lost?

Brittany: I was gonna help some ghost children

Brittany: Also I saw the chat, are you okay?

Santana: No

Brittany: I'm lost but the second I find a way out i'll get to you

Santana: No i'm getting to you because you're lost

Brittany: Why do you take on the responsibility? It's my fault for getting lost

Santana: Because I care about you

Santana: And... I love protecting you and looking out for you

Brittany: Same.

Brittany: Can we have a sleepover and tuck each other in for the night?

Santana: We'll share a blanket.

Brittany: I see a light.

Santana: Go towards it. I'm there.


	13. Closeted gay and bi gals go investigating

**_The New Directions_ **

Tina: Brittana wasn't in school today

Blaine: Oh I love when we refer to couples with ship names!!

Quinn: I don't know where they are. 

Rachel: I volunteer to go look for them!!

Finn: Rachel's stalking skills are really good!

Quinn: Omg

Quinn: Guys

Quinn: Sue-

Tina: What did Sue do?

Quinn: She asked me where San and Britt were, and if they dare to skip one more cheerleading class she will personally search them up to have a "serious talk" with them

Rachel: IVOLUNTEERNOW

Quinn: I FOLLOW

* * *

Rachel: Operation find Brittana is on the go

Quinn: We have currently searched Brittany's house

Rachel: Brittany's mother told us Brittany went to school today but haven't gotten home yet. We are heading to Santana's.

Kurt: Exciting!

Kurt: Lowkey hope Santana is not home so it's more of a mystery

* * *

Quinn: AAAAAAANd update Santana's not home

Rachel: Her mom said the exact same thing

Blaine: THINGS ARE GETTING ~mYstERioUS~

Kurt: Maybe they have a secret place

Blaine: Plot twist, they are in the sewers 

Kurt: HASSDHJasknhjHAH

Rachel: No no they cannot be in the sewers I will die if that's the case

Quinn: They know better than that

Quinn: Hmmm

Quinn: What feels... brittanic

Kurt: BRITTANIC

Tina: BRITTANIC

Mercedes: BRITTANIC

Quinn: SHUT UP

Quinn: Rachel is bullying me irl because I wrote that

Rachel: THE BRITTANIC SHIP HAS SAILED

Blaine: ASGDGDFJK

Quinn: >:(

Mercedes: If I were Santana, where would I go

Sam: I think the more important question is, if I were _Brittany,_ where would I go?

Artie: Right!! If they have gone off to a secret place, Brittany would've had decided upon it

Rachel: Ok but I don't understand Brittany

Sam: Well, her mind is more complex than ours. We just have to look at some facts.

Quinn: We know Brittany got home from her sewer adventure and Santana did get home, too.

Quinn: If I know them correctly, they would always go out of town when skipping school so no one would try to find them.

Rachel: LET'S DRIVE OUT OF TOWN THEN

Quinn: But WHERE out of town

Rachel: OUT OF TOWN

Kurt: KHDHJ

Kurt: Have a nice date

Quinn: Thank

Quinn: Wh

Kurt: Oh no did I break you?

Rachel: OUtNTHFOFTWOWNNOTSADAYTE

Blaine: You broke em


	14. Cornfield date

_The **New Directions**_

Blaine: How’s your ”operation find Brittana” going

Quinn: Quite well, we’re driving out of town rn

Rachel: We’re in a cornfield

Kurt: NO TEXTING AND DRIVING

Quinn: We pulled over don’t worry

Blaine: ooooooohhh pulled over you say 

Kurt: You got the nice romantic view of corn?

Rachel: I don’t know why they would be here but it feels like a place where Brittany would go to hide

Finn: Yeah it DOES feel like that? Even if I don’t know Brittany at all

Quinn: The only one who does is Santana

Quinn: Who is also missing

Tina: Actually idk how ”missing” they are because they skipped one day of school I mean their parents weren’t worried

Rachel: Maybe the parents KNOW where they are and haven’t told us!!!

Finn: Darling your investigation skills are back on track!

Quinn: OMG SANTANA’S ONLINE

Rachel: SHE’S ONLINE

Blaine: CALL

Kurt: Why would Santana pick up

* * *

_Phone call, Rachel and Santana_

_Rachel: Hello?_

_Santana: *Breathes heavily*_

_Rachel: Santana?_

_Santana: Huh, what? Did I make a call or pick up a call by accident? Who this?_

_Rachel: Rachel._

_Santana: Ew_

_Rachel: I’m just calling because I..._

_Rachel: We’re worried about Brittany! She, uh... apparently got lost in a cornfield and broke her leg_

_Santana: *snorts*  
_

_Rachel: Huh?_

_Santana: Good one!_

_Santana: *talks to someone off the phone* Yeah they are making up lies what a fucking moron_

_Rachels What?_

_Santana: I know she’s not hurt. Not in the slightest._

_*end of phone call*_

* * *

_**The New Directions** _

Rachel: Managed to call Santana. She did not believe my lies

Puck: Did she sound high?

Rachel: A bit?

Quinn: But Santana doesn’t do drugs

Puck: That’s what she sounds like when she has gotten some steam off

Kurt: Ok, Santana probably slept with someone, probably Brittany, but that doesn’t help us in the slightest

Blaine: In a corn field? What are they doing, trying to win ”never have I ever”?

Quinn: I have a feeling they are close

Rachel: Yeah even if the phone call was useless we have an idea now that they may be near 

Rachel: Stay tuned! Adventure continues!

Kurt: Have fun checking off a ”never have I ever” while on your car date :)

Rachel: What does that mean?

Kurt: You’ll see when we play Never have I ever next time


	15. WE FOUND THE BRITTANIC SHIP?

_**The New Directions** _

Rachel: CLUE

Quinn: WE FOUND A CLUE

Rachel: CLUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Artie: Exciting!

Mike: I've been following this from a distance all day, what's the clue?

Quinn: clue.jpg

Mike: A scrunchie?

Quinn: Brittany always leaves scrunchies wherever she has made out with someone!

Tina: ...how do you know this?

Quinn: Have you seen the amount of scrunchies lying around at school?

Tina: Tbh, no?

Quinn: Ok fair point

Quinn: Actually, she only does that if she feels like the makeout has been special enough.

Rachel: WE THINK THEY MADE OUT IN THE CORNFIELD

Kurt: "Never have I ever... made out in a cornfield"

Kurt: "SANTANA and BRITTANY raises their hands."

Kurt: "Santana: We have."

Rachel: We're gonna search for more clues!!!!

* * *

Quinn: Hi guys

Mike: IT'S 2 AM?

Quinn: Heh.

Rachel: So... we found them.

Mike: ARE THEY DEAD

Quinn: wh

Quinn: No

Rachel: They've... promised to come back.

Rachel: When they are ready.

Quinn: We just dropped them off at Britts. They'll probably won't come to school tomorrow.

Rachel: Yeah, they'll join the groupchat again when they are ready, so don't pressure them.

_Brittany has joined the chat._

Brittany: Rachel tried to stroke Quinn's hair as she drove, I think they're going on a date later

Quinn: Brittany it's literally 2 AM why would I go on dates at this hour

Rachel: Brittany I did not stroke anyone's hair!

_Brittany has left the chat._

Blaine: ASHJKHKJDRKIJJI

Blaine: CHAOTIC SUNSHINE OF RAINBOWS IS WHAT SHE IS


	16. Owoooh I gotta go back to school

_Santana >> Brittany_

Santana: Told my parents about the situation. They said I can stay home for a couple of days

Brittany: I’ll go to school. Sue is already mad.

Brittany: Report to you later 

* * *

Brittany: Everyone is asking about us

Brittany: I just stay mute 

Santana: Yeah I get that

Santana: Anything fun happened?

Brittany: Freshman cheerio pantsed senior cheerio. Hell has broken lose in the the gym

Santana: Ahahaha!

Brittany: Sue says she’s gonna search you up to have a talk and I said that if she dares to come to your house I’ll make sure you have a good hiding spot

Brittany: I’ll shrink you and hide you in my pocket

Santana: I would love to be in your pocket

Brittany: Other news! 

Brittany: Kurt and Blaine ship Rachel and Quinn 

Santana: Don’t we all

Brittany: Quinn is def in love with Rachel but Rachel denies this 

Santana: ofc

Brittany: When I get home I will find my barbie dolls of Rachel and Quinn and play with them, to see if what I play will make the real them do stuff 

Santana: Sounds legit can you FaceTime me while you play 

Brittany: Always


	17. But that is called CANNIBALISM-

**_The New Directions_ **

_Brittany has joined the chat._

Brittany: Been peer pressured.

Sam: Yay!!

Blaine: Britt!

Finn: Ok can't we have start a second chat where we just quote Mr. Schue on stuff

Blaine: Aren't you gonna say hi to Britt? >:c

Finn: Hi Britt :D

Brittany: :)

Finn: Can you answer my question now

Artie: Idk about a second chat but we can quote him here

Brittany: "But that is called cannibalism, my dear children"

Mercedes: Didn't Willy Wonka say that

Brittany: Mr. Schue probably said it too

Kurt: Can't we quote each other too

Kurt: "Look a sparrow, when it eats worms it looks like Sue." - Blaine on our 4th date.

Mike: BMGDRHEYU BLAINE EXPLAIN

Blaine: IT DID????

Blaine: "I don't know _how_ she found out, i'm scared." - Kurt after Sue said he pooped rainbow glitter

Tina: "I probably climbed all the roofs in the city. It's just an activity i'm doing." - random student in the hallway

Brittany: "Miss Pierce, I will find Santana even if you have shrunken her to hide in your pocket." Sue, believing me when I said Santana's not home, when she, in fact, has been home all along

Quinn: AGRJHRIR YEAH, "Of course I know she's not home, no one would be so stupid they would hide in their own home from Sue Sylevester."

Artie: How is Santana?

Brittany: Very fine, she's coming to school tomorrow.

Brittany: She just feels... mostly embarrased. But she knows none of you would judge her, but... atleast only you know and no one else in school.

Mercedes: Yeah I hope to GOD no one has told anyone else!

Mercedes: No response. I just have to trust you then.

Rachel: "Rachel! You were great today, have you and Quinn become closer? *lifts eyebrows*" - Mr. Schue, just passing me

Kurt: HE SHIPS YOU

Blaine: JUST LIKE ALL OF US

Rachel: CAN YOU STOP SHIPPING ME WITH FINN

Rachel: QUINN*

Sam: AHAHAHHA

Mike: YEAH WE CAN TOTALLY STOP SHIPPING YOU WITH FINN

Finn: Hey >:(

Brittany: I'm gonna screenshot this to Santana

Finn: Why is everyone shipping Rachel with Quinn I don't understand?

Quinn: Sure, we have chemistry, but i'm stroight

Kurt: S T R O I G H T

Quinn: A AND O ARE CLOSE ON THE KEYBOARD OK

Kurt: THEY ARE LITERALLY NOT???

Blaine: Stroight - straight, but masculine

Tina: And since Quinn is female, she is only masculine straight, which mean she is feminine gay

Quinn: ARUGH NO

Kurt: Yes

Quinn: NO

Blaine: Yes

Quinn: NO

Tina: no

Quinn: YES

Quinn: NO

Quinn: Why are you like this stg


	18. WE'RE GOING ON A TRIP IN OUR BIG CROSSOVER SHIP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because I wanna see what other shennanigans our losers like us do outside their new directions chat  
> FEATURING CHARACTERS FROM OTHER UNIVERSES  
> THAT'S RIGHT LADS WE'RE GOING CROSSOVER  
> Of course I don't except you to know all the characters who speaks, so I've tried to give them some introduction.

_**Gaming.** _

PiercePierce: Is anyone up for playing?

PiercePierce: Sorry if anyone doesn't recogonize me. I had to use my dad's name to get into the website due to me being banned after the "wrong link incident"

Karenlovesorandges: No worries! I have spoken to dads before

PiercePierce: Up for playing jackbox?

ArgentineanChico: Yes!! Uh, but do we have to speak with mics? :c English is not my first language.

PiercePierce: Andrés, eso? Mi novia es latina, puedo hablar español.

PiercePierce: Otherwise we'll just dub you :)

ArgentieanChico: Did you learn spanish just for her? :o

PiercePierce: Well, my school's spanish teacher sucks so I learned on my own for her

ArgentieanChico: Also, how did you know I spoke spanish??? Do you have witch powers?

PiercePierce: Yes.

Karenlovesorandges: But we need atleast one more to make a good jackbox experience

PiercePierce: Karen I love that you know the importance of even numbers 

CaseyCute: I'LL JOIN

ArgentieanChico: All girls, heh. I wish I had a girlfriend... i'm not good with love. 

PiercePierce: Mood even though I have a girlfriend

CaseyCute: Also don't judge my name, I created this when I was like... 13

Karenlovesorandges: I think it's cute! .O.

PiercePierce: Let's play some jackbox biatches!

CaseyCute: PLEASE BE QUIPLASH I HAVE THE PERFECT THINGS TO WRITE 

PiercePierce: Aight

* * *

**_Disaster queergirls across the globe_ **

_Hihocheerio has joined the chat._

El-Alvarez: Welcome to disaster queergirls across the globe! Here us LGBTQ+ gals from all around the world share stories about how big of disasters we can be sometimes.

Hihocheerio: Hi. I don't really wanna say my name, I feel like someone I know can be here.

El-Alvarez: Of course! That's why we're anonymous here. 

JuntoATi: Yeah, it's a small world even if it's big...

El-Alvarez: But just to ease your welcome, I can start with a classic story of mine

El-Alvarez: I had a crush on this girl and I didn't know how to talk to her properly. So I was gonna ask if she wanted to share a cookie with me. Easy enough, right? Well as soon as I was about to, she had to go because her _girlfriend_ was gonna pick her up. I just awkwardly stood there, not knowing what to do. Then... _they_ came up to me. They asked _me_ if I wanted to share that cookie and I just. Went "oooohh!!" because I realised _oh my god they're gay and they are flirting with me._

El-Alvarez: They misinterpred me and was about to walk away when I went "NO! GAY! ME GAY!"

Hihocheerio: LMAO

Goldentimes: I love that story

Goldentimes: Hello, i'm a disaster bi from northern europe and I messed up a lot but yet I still have a gf

Hihocheerio: I'm a lesbian and now everyone is shipping me with a girl in my school. And I have panicked and have been like "i'm straight" but I am. NOT. I know that. I'm just very deep in the closet.

JuntoATi: I... was always sure I was straight. Like I have always been boy crazy. My friends have also been boy crazy. Yet I have always felt this... connection to my best friend. When I met her, she was so shy and awkward and I kinda took her under my wing. I of course have close friendships with others, but she is special. Because I was like, _her_ first friend.

JuntoATi: I... literally wrote a song about her and my friendship.

Hihocheerio: Omg can we hear

JuntoATi: Ok... I'm the black haired one. <https://youtu.be/vSIEaU4UGpU>

JuntoATi: Also some people dubbed it to english if you want to hear that version: <https://youtu.be/8woQ7iKKoV4>

Hihocheerio: That's cute!

JuntoATi: Thanks! Yeah, we're always gonna be best friends, but I have always felt... different towards her than I do with my other friends. And I think I kinda sorta love her, more than friends. Which is not the greatest because she's literally dating her soulmate!! Like her boyfriend and her is such a perfect pair, me and my other friend shipped them so much. And _I_ have a boyfriend too, who I love. But the funny thing is that I literally hated him the year before and then we just sorta... got together. I still love him but... not as much as my bestie?

JuntoATi: MY boyfriend is also my best friend's ex and he really hurt her and even though we all forgave him it still took me several months to tell my friend we were dating just because of everything... it's a mess. We'll see what will happen.

Hihocheerio: Well, I literally became pregnant with a boys child because I was so deep in the closet

Goldentimes: THAT'S HILARIOUS

Goldentimes: Sorry. Not hilarious. Sometimes I say/write stuff without thinking first

Hihocheerio: It's okay, you're a disaster after all, just like us :)

Snixx: You know, Hihocheerio, I know a girl in school who I ship with another girl and who became pregnant before.

Hihocheerio: What a coincidence...

Snixx: Yeah... anyways, hi, i'm a disaster lesbian who outed myself in a groupchat and reacted so strongly that I took my girlfriend to a cornfield out of town just to process it all

Snixx: The girl and the girl I ship her with came looking for us and we think they are secretly dating lmao

Hihocheerio: are both single?

Snixx: Nope! The other girl dates a boy but honestly they will break up

Hihocheerio: I hope...

Snixx: Why do you hope? You don't know them

_Hihocheerio has left the chat._

Snixx: Ok I believe I know that girl irl guys?? 

El-Alvarez: Omg!! Good luck confronting her then lol

* * *

_**Life is love, life is life** _

_Birdingtonson has joined the chat._

Birdingtonson: Hi, i'm Blaine, he/him, gay. Who named this chat? xD

InventorTM: Hi, Violet, she/her, bi. No idea. People come and go and someone just named it this and now we all just vibe.

NotGreeneggsandham: OMG BLAINE? IT'S SAM

NotGreeneggsandham: IF IT IS THE BLAINE I THINK

Birdingtonson: SAM YOU AM AND YOU DON'T LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM?

NotGreeneggsandham: THAT'S ME BRO

Birdingtonson: SO THAT'S WHY THIS CHAT CAME UP IN MY RECOMMENDED

Birdingtonson: Hi everyone, we know each other irl so

InventorTM: Cool!

MadMax: Hi, welcome to whatever this is! I'm Max, she/her. 

MadMax: This chat doesn't have a particular theme, we guess someone just made it and random people joined and now here we are

Birdingtonson: Looks great nonetheless!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that confusing? I hope not. I was really just "lmao what if these fictional characters chatted with other fictional characters"  
> For next chapter we'll go back to our old glee gang but if you liked this maybe i'll do it again sometime.


	19. Back to our regularly schedueled bullshit

_**The New Directions** _

_Santana has joined the chat._

Santana: No autographs

Quinn: Welcome back!

Puck: Are you gonna be out and proud now?

Santana: In glee club? I guess. In school? Idk, please don't say anything

Quinn: We won't!

Brittany: Honey good that you're here I have forgotten how to lock the restroom door

Santana: On my way to rescue you!!

Finn: Guys you dive to the bottom of a dumpster, do you get sick?

Rachel: Why are you diving to the bottom of a dumpster?

Finn: No reason

Rachel: Okay uh

Rachel: Be careful

* * *

Puck: dumpsterman.mov

Quinn: Wow he can dive fast!!

Santana: Tag urself i'm

Mike: Did Santana die

Brittany: Sue took her to have a talk since she's been away from school for some days

Mike: Oh no

Mike: CAN YOU RECORD IT

Brittany: confrontation.mov

Quinn: ASGJSSDHFUIIVDJHOIUI

Puck: Fucking hell

Blaine: SUE NOTICING THE CAMERA IN THE END

Brittany: I'm running

Mercedes: suechasingbritt.mov

Santana: infdfhllyrntof

Finn: Hey i'm back from the dumpster!

Finn: Holy shit what's going on

Blaine: EVERYONE TO EAST CORRIDOR FIRST FLOOR NOW

Rachel: Why is Sue mad? 

Quinn: If cheerios skip more than 2 times in one week they face "serious consequences"

Blaine: EVERYONE HURRY SUE HAS GOT BRITTANA ON THE FLOOR

Blaine: SHEMAD.jpg

Brittany: frommyperspective.jpg

Blaine: How... can you have time to take a picture without us even seeing

Blaine: HELLO THIS IS SUE. I'M TAKING BOWTIE MAN'S PHONE AND I WILL CRUSH IT IF HE DOESN'T STOP TAKING PICTURES.

Quinn: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM SUE

Blaine: MY PROBLEM IS THAT BRITTANY AND SANTANA HAS SKIPPED SEVERAL CHEERIOS PRACTISES AND THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE AND I HATE IT.

Blaine: recording.mov

Artie: (transcript as it is unclear: Sue recording herself) "PEOPLE IN THE HALLWAY, WE DO NOT RECORD EACH OTHER, ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M CONFRONTING MY CHEERLEADERS. DO NOT RECORD ME UNLESS IT IS FOR TELEVISION." (turns to Brittana who huddles on the floor) "YOU TWO. NEVER SKIP AGAIN."

Rachel: The drama is big today.

Kurt: I HAD A MATH TEST AND _THIS_ IS WHAT I MISS?


	20. I’m sleep deprived and should not write fics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do I do? Write fics.

_**The New Directions** _

Quinn: I CAN FLY

Santana: Oh, you finally decided to ”take matters in your own hands”? ;)

Rachel: Santana what does that mean

Santana: You’re too preppy to know 

Quinn: I AM A BIRD

Kurt: Why are people awake at 1 AM?

Blaine: Go to sleep right now, children!!

Santana: Great Quinn, you woke up the dads

Quinn: Weeeeehhhh

Rachel: Quinnie? I’m worried. Are you okay?

Quinn: My mom forgot a bottle of wine on the counter and I tasted a bit heeeeeeee

Rachel: Ok sweetie i’m picking u up.

Santana: Rachel Quinn is in her own house why should you pick her up

Kurt: Also it’s unsafe to go out driving this late!! 

Santana: Also Why are you calling her sweetie ?

Rachel: Because I am concerned!

Rachel: My friend is drunk!!!!!! 

Brittany: I’m drunk. 

Santana: No, Brittany. You’re high. 

Brittany: Oh, right. 

Quinn: Britt can I have your highness

Brittany: hAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sam: I’m tryn slep 

Blaine: Are you drunk or high too, Young man?

Sam: No i’m just sleepy, when i’m sleepy I text like a drunk

Blaine: Go to bed. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.

Blaine: AS FOR YOU TWO LADIES

Blaine: Quinn, we do not allow drunkness at 1 AM, even if it’s in your own house and you’re not causing much harm.

Blaine: Brittany... why is your girlfriend calm about you being high?

Santana: Because i’m supervising her

Blaine: I WANT BRITTANY TO TALK.

Brittany: Santana is my supervisor and she is scolding lord Tubbington for giving me catnip

Brittany: I love how this group is like a family

Brittany: Kurt and Blaine are the fathers. None of us are the biological children but we are under their care.

Brittany: Also Rachel is the aunt who tries too hard but can’t connect with the kids

Rachel: Hey!

Quinn: I love playing house!! Can I and Rachel be mommies 

Rachel: But i’m an aunt 

Quinn: We can be gay aunts 

Kurt: Suddenly I like drunk Quinn?

Brittany: KURT DON’T BREAK CHARACTER WE’RE PLAYING NOW

Rachel: Quinn you’re very drunk aren’t you?

Quinn: Oink

Rachel: Imma call you, okay? I’m concerned

Sam: Jesus Christ Rachel she is drunk in her own house she’s gonna be fine

Rachel: Quinn imma call you ok

Quinn: Ok wife 

Santana: KIDOFIFKWND


	21. Veo Veo, que vez?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know what to call this chapter so it's named after the last song that was stuck in my head

**_The New Directions_ **

Kurt: Hello, children. Still drunk and high?

Brittany: No.

Brittany: I think.

Quinn: I'm not drunk. I had a little hangover tho

Blaine: Do better next time, young lady.

Quinn: La dee dee dee da di doo when you were gone I think of you

Kurt: ... are you sure you're not drunk

Quinn: I am sure, I just had that song in my head so I wrote it

Brittany: I once imagined all of us dancing around to that song

Brittany: Then I made a video of it! <https://youtu.be/q6y-j2bIzHs>

Santana: Honey I love you but how could you have made your imagination so real

Brittany: I am magic

Santana: Valid <3

Quinn: I am a bit creeped out by that video but good job

Finn: Who are the other kids that's not us?

Brittany: Oh!! I imagined glee club continued after we graduate and therefore - new kids!

Finn: Hm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were to watch that video, i'm sorry for the bad quality. You see, my videos automatically got saved in 360 pixels and I didn't know how to fix it until like last month lmao. So. Yeah. It's still one of the best edits i've made.


	22. Drugged by apples

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one is getting drugged by apples. That title is a reference to a youtube parody I made where a character is banned from eating apples because she once stole some drugged ones. The parody is in swedish and i'm too lazy to make subtitles, so I won't link it now.  
> Will I always have the chapter title reference something that has nothing to do with the chapter? Mayhaps.

_**The New Directions** _

Mike: tikedate.jpg

Mike: We're on a date!

Artie: Yeah we didn't understand that from the title of the pic, no no.

Tina: Are you jealous, Arts?

Artie: DOn't call me that

Puck: OOOh Art's offended

Artie: Stop

Kurt: Aw, me and Blaine are going out later!

Blaine: We're gonna head to ~Russia~

Kurt: Blaine what

Blaine: No we're not we're just going to the movies. I just felt like writing ~Russia~, so I did.

Tina: Lmao

Brittany: One time I woke up in another persons house.

Puck: Okay Brittany thank you for your random input

Brittany: It was a stranger's house, they got really scared.

Rachel: No Britt, it was MY house, you scared the shit out of me

Santana: ASJNDHJ RACHEL SAID SHIT

Rachel: In this context, that's okay

Quinn: RACHEL SAID SHIT

Rachel: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY

Quinn: DO YOU THINK ANYONE THINKS YOU LITERALLY SHAT YOURSELF

Quinn: WE'RE SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW IT WAS FIGURATIVELY

Brittany: One time I dated a boy who still wore diapers, he literally shat himself sometimes.

Kurt: Where is this conversation heading I don't like it

Rachel: Pardon us Kurt, let's switch subject

Santana: I can't wait for the day where Rachel says fuck

Quinn: OH if that happens i'll marry her

Santana: FDKRJKIJEQ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end was a reference to my previous Glee chatfic :) If anyone caught that


	23. Other groupchats (in the same universe this time)

**_the gays and a bi_ **

Kurt: SANTANA

Kurt: CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING IN SPANISH

Santana: ¿Cómo quieres que te quiera? Si te quiero y tú no quieres que te quiera como yo quiero quererte

Kurt: Thank you

Blaine: Honey what are you going to do?

Kurt: I need to pretend i'm speaking another language so this annoying girl stops texting me

Santana: AFHVJKNDFJKT OK GOOD LUCK

Brittany: Lmao 

Kurt: Santana

Kurt: Why does this girl think i'm giving her a love letter

Santana: AHAHAHAHA

_Kurt has changed Santana's name to Satan-a_

Satan-a: Yes!

Brittany: CAN YOU CHANGE MY NAME TO ANGEL-A BECAUSE SANTANA AND I ARE YING YANG BLACK AND WHITE ANGEL AND DEVIL

Blaine: Hmm

_Blaine has changed Brittany's name to Angel-y_

Blaine: Sounds better

Angel-y: Yay!

* * *

_**Bro corner** _

Finn: What's a starfish

Artie: Isn't that a star sign? 

Sam: Yeah..

Puck: Maybe a fish in space

Finn: That's what I thought! Fish in space

Sam: I didn't know there were any space animals

* * *

**_Faberry is canon?_ **

Kurt: Okay, today Rachel dropped a pencil and she panicked when Quinn picked it up for her

Tina: OH MY GOD

Santana: Omg have I told you about how they found me and Britt in the cornfield?

Kurt: PLEASE DO TELL

Santana: So uh, we were cuddling, watching the stars. Then we heard voices.

Brittany: It was whisper that said "I can feel them being here" and another one saying "Dammit, I dropped my phone"

Santana: We turned around and saw silohuettes of someone picking up a dropped phone and being like "I can't find it" and the other one just bent down and said "Maybe it's between my legs, i'll check.

Santana: Anyway, I _had_ to make a wanky.

Brittany: They have such tension but not as much tension as us

Kurt: I CAN PICTURE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW

Tina: I wanna make a bet how long they will be dumb and not realise their feelings

Brittany: 5 light years

Kurt: A week

Blaine: 15 years

Santana: a second

Tina: A lot of good choices hm

Tina: It's fun to see them, it's like a TV show where they are the only characters and we are the audience

Blaine: Yeah


	24. Spying on the clueless

**_The New Directions_ **

_Artie has locked Rachel from the chat for 1 hour._

_Artie has locked Quinn from the chat for 1 hour._

Sam: ???????

Artie: Alright peeps

Artie: I beg you to sneakily get close, but not too close, to the indoor bleachers

Artie: Faberry is having a discussion.

Tina: I'm there! Have crawled under them without anyone noticing.

Brittany: I'm in the vents

Sam: In the vents?

Brittany: I often go to the vents to get ideas for my fondue for two topics

Brittany: I'm right behind them.

Santana: Sweetie

Brittany: I know, I should've asked you to join

Santana: No I just wanted to ask if you could record their voices.

Santana: Because I am next to the girls locker room and I can see them but not hear them

Artie: Brittany if you record the sound, I record a video without them noticing and we'll mix it

Brittany: Aight

Finn: Why are you so obsessed with my girlfriend and my ex??

* * *

_Audio recording, Rachel and Quinn_

_Quinn: Hey Rachel... are you still dating Finn?_

_Rachel: Yeah... are you dating Puck?_

_Quinn: No._

_Rachel: You aren't?_

_Quinn: Rachel, we haven't been together for months! How do you not know this?_

_Rachel: I... was just... afraid-_

_Quinn: Afraid? Of me being together with Puck? What?_

_Rachel: N-no!_

_Quinn: Or did you want me to be single? In that case, why?_

_Rachel: ..._

_Quinn: Rachel?_

_Rachel: Remember when you were drunk last week and you were saying you and I could be aunts in that game of pretend?_

_Quinn: Yeah?_

_Rachel: Was there... a reason?_

_Quinn: I was drunk-_

_Rachel: But was there a reason? Like a subconsious reason you...?_

_Quinn: Rachel, what do you mean?_

_Rachel: ...i'm thinking about breaking up with Finn._

_Quinn: Okay? What does that have to do with..._

_Rachel: I gotta go. Forget it._

_Quinn: Rachie-_

_END OF AUDIO_

* * *

_**The New Directions** _

Sam: HOLY FUCK

Santana: I-

Kurt: HI ME AND BLAINE SAT DOWN IN THE LIBRARY AND LISTENED TO THIS IN THE LOWEST VOLUME I AM CRYING

Blaine: THE ANGST

Tina: THE _ANGST_

Artie: Oh wait

_Artie has cleared the chat._

_Artie has unlocked Rachel from the chat._

_Artie has unlocked Quinn from the chat._

Finn: I didn't have time to read?

Sam: Dude...

Sam: Good luck.


	25. Gossip oop

**_The New Directions_ **

Kurt: So tea is spilled

Kurt: Finchel is broken up

Mercedes: Oop

Finn: Guys we are literally in this chat

Puck: That sucks

Rachel: Guys please

Artie: This is so sad band members play only time by Enya

Tina: That's an odd song choice but I'll vibe with it

Mike: Same


	26. owo

_Rachel >> Quinn_

Rachel: I want to meet you. I'll be over at your house at four.

Quinn: hskdfjrelsjreji ok

Quinn: What if I wasn't home what would you do then?

Rachel: Is 4 a bad time?

Quinn: IT'S 4 AM

Rachel: So?

Quinn: seghjwheyuaw

Quinn: Come over then i'm home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosely based on the time my old friend texted me "I want to meet you. I'll come to your house at 4, after school" and I was like "ok" lmao.


	27. STAY FUCKING CALM-

**_Faberry is canon?_ **

Tina: Uh

Tina: Did Quinn and Rachel just meet at the bleachers and share a smoothie?

Santana: RUNNING RN

Brittany: SPINNING AROUND IN CIRCLES RN

Tina: PICTURES

Tina: paparazzi.jpg

_Artie has saved 1 image!_

Santana: Wanky

Kurt: DID THEY LEAN ON EACH OTHER'S SHOULDERS

Kurt: TINA WHAT ARE THEY SAYING

Tina: NOTHING, THEY ARE HAVING A NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION.

Tina: It's so cute

Blaine: Does faberry canon

Brittany: D O E S F A B E R R Y C A N O N

Kurt: asjdsjkdks

Santana: Brittany has been spinning around in circles too much and is lying on the ground. She is happy. I love her.

Tina: brittanaiscute.jpg

Kurt: TINA YOU HAVE TO PAPARAZZI FABERRY NOT BRITTANA

Tina: Sorry was gonna send it to "Brittana is CANON!!" chat

Santana: You have a chat about us? I'm flattered.

Kurt: wahsekjaSKAERJULI


End file.
